Have you ever just sat there and thought about what life would be like if something different had happened?
This is something that lingers in my mind daily, almost hourly, which is sad because I know I should accept my life as it is (especially since I can’t go back in time and change it…. even if I could I would alter everything and if I could, I might end up in a worse place…). Despite all of the negative things that have happened (abuse, ending a relationship that I was sure would last, adoption, losing family members, etc.) I tend to be optimistic about the future. I dream about everything I could be. I get depressed about that thought sometimes since at the moment, I am not doing very well in school (I used to be really good in school and this makes me a little angry with who I am). Everyone goes through doubt and I guess now is my time and I am hoping it will be over when I move to Brown Mackie.
I was asked about my future today, and I know that I want to be a lawyer, or someone who can make a difference in the world and let people know that there are good and honest people in the world. Some lawyers have made a name for all lawyers, saying that they all lie in one way or another, and I want to make that change.
I am hopeful that my generation will succeed in making the world a better place. When I was younger, my siblings and I played outside, talked (verbally and in person) with our friends, looked forward to school because we got to see our friends, we had imaginations and let them run wild. Man, those were the best. Now I find myself inside and wishing that I was out and about because I find myself tired and something called the internet keeps me online and has made me lazier that I thought I would be. I do get out of the house, but it is usually to the University and then back home. It gets old fast.
Most of the time, when I would go on a date, I would request going hiking or walking around a park or just sit and stare at the night sky. (It is a great way to get to know someone and actually talk.) With going to the movies or bowling or even to a restaurant I felt like I was being watched by not only my date, but by others and him nor I would really say anything to each other and the car ride home was usually pretty quiet (with the exception of him or I singing along to the radio).
In short, day dreaming about what life would have been like is pointless and really shouldn’t happen, but it does because we are human and can’t help it. Be positive about the future and what it might hold. Never stop dreaming about your goals, because you can make a bigger difference than you thing. Instead of staying inside all day, go out and have fun, losing your imagination is worse than anything in the world. Being creative is the best way to stay young. Lastly, if you are going to go on a date, instead of going to a movies or a restaurant, go to the park or a place you can hike and really get to know the person. It’s the perfect place to be yourself because you don’t have to conform to some social standard of eating properly or being quiet. So please, have fun and enjoy your life. It is worth it.