Foster Care

Getting to see Mom on Easter one year. 

I was living with my aunt and uncle for 3 years before they ended up adopting us. I wasn’t really thrilled about it. I was very much against it. I lived it one day at a time, only to see my mother. I was, and still am into school. I didn’t have many friends, why would I if I was going to move schools again anyway? I always did my work and did what I was told, but I wasn’t happy. I had to see a therapist every month because of the switch. I wet my bed at nights because I would dream about being with my mother again and then being taken away from her and woke up each night after I wet my bed. The nightmares kept going as I grew more depressed with each passing day. I wanted to die when I found out about the upcoming adoption. I was 8, almost 9, when I first nearly attempted suicide. I was allowed to wash the dishes, even the knives, and I was tempted by one of the vegetable knives I was washing. There I am, on the stool washing dishes and I find the knife and put it to my heart, when my uncle walks in and runs to me, taking the knife away and brings me to his room to talk to my aunt and I about it. I remember him telling me that it would have killed me and asking if I knew that, and I told him no, but I did and that was all I wanted, if I couldn’t be with my mom, then I would go to my dad, that was my logic. As you can see, I am still here today, so I haven’t died yet. The adoption came and I was happy to be with my brother and sister again, but I was sad because I no longer could see my mom. I was told that I wasn’t allowed to talk to her or my half siblings and that hurt so much. Foster care was a hard thing for me because I only got to visit my mom once in awhile, and those were very precious moments. We would play with horseshoes, jump rope, water jump rope or sit and thumb wrestle, of course there was more, but these games were fun. My mom still means a lot to me, even though I have another mother as well. They are both special to me. I grew to love my aunt as a mother, and eventually called her mom.

5 de mayo when I was in 2nd Grade.

 

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